SPIRITUAL PATH

Prayers for Purpose and Healing

I would like to THANK YOU FOR  your great work and your inspirational books ! ( Having read 5 of them, I’ve got the courage to follow my heart and moved from Asia to Europe).  I have 2  prayer requests; I would greatly appreciate if you could post them on your web site and mention it to Spirit in your prayer. THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE !   1)  I want God to show/reveal  me my life's purpose, - my dharma (in a clear and easy-to-understand way), as well as grant me courage and wisdom to fulfill it.  2) And also pray for healing of my friend Richard. I am deeply thankful for your prayers.

Done.

Irrational Fears?

I have many fears that continue to resurface again and again.  I have a therapist who has worked with me on this issue for several years. Here is an example of how my mind focuses on fears.

A couple of weeks ago I was planning a trip to Chicago.  I immediately began “what if” - ing.  What if I get to my hotel late?  What if I get mugged?  What if I get lost and never make it to Chicago?  I know that these fears are irrational, but when they start I can't shut them off.  My therapist says that we shouldn't worry about why these fears come up.  She thinks I should focus on how I can stop them.  Do you have any recommendations for how to cope with irrational fears? Is this condition one that is uniquely mine, or do others suffer from irrational fears?

    All fears are irrational. Love and trust are far more rational. You can begin to undo fear by practicing “what if” – ing in the direction of well being. What if you were safe and whole, wherever you stand?  What if the universe functions on the basis of well being, and all else is an anomaly?  What if love and abundance were available to you wherever you turn, and your job is simply to let it in?

    This condition is definitely not unique to you. We live in a world ruled largely by fear, not because it is real or has true power, but because people feed it with their thoughts and emotions. One who walks in love and trust has his or her head above the crowd.

     Take a few minutes at the beginning of each day, and before you enter into any activity that you feel anxious about, and find the place inside you that knows you are safe. This is far closer to the truth than the world fear shows you.

     I also suggest you do A Course in Miracles;  read the teachings of Emmanuel via Pat Rodegast; and study Abraham-Hicks. You can find references to all  with a simple web search. You have a brighter path than the one fear would show you.

What to do with my Ego?

Recently, my Higher Power and the Universe have been pointing out to me my problems with my huge ego.  I honestly didn't realize what a big ego I had until these past few weeks.  My home business failed, I'm in debt and I had to get a '”regular” job to help pay the bills.  The Universe handed me a new job on a platter, and yet, my ego is really shattered.  All I know is that now I'm embarrassed to look myself in the mirror because I realize I have '”ego issues” and I'm not sure how to heal this.  I'm thinking back as well on situations in my life where I acted like I was “special” or “better than” everyone else.  (I'm so embarrassed to even type this and admit this but I want to heal it!) I appreciate your teachings and I'd love to hear your insights. 

      Thank you for your sincerity and your stretching to write this. I expect that simply expressing these thoughts and feelings has helped you to feel better.

      We all have ego issues ― every person on the planet has one, and from time to time we get caught up in illusion and fear. But that does not mean that is who we are. Even while our ego is in action, we live as pure, loving, innocent spirits.

      Practice loving and accepting yourself even with your ego. Your ego will tell you that you cannot be loveable, beautiful, or acceptable until you get rid of it – but you can see the paradox in that approach!

      Reframe yourself and all you do by choosing the compassionate and forgiving interpretation of your actions. Hold yourself lightly and you will find much relief. The game of enlightenment is not one of rigid discipline and impossible goals, but kindness and joy. Just keep loving as much as you can, wherever you are, and your “ego issues” will cease to be the problem you believe they are.

How to Deal with Skeptics?

I am spiritually confused!! I started reading A Course In Miracles along with your books. The message really spoke to me and for the first time I felt a real understanding of the truth and immediate love from God. It felt sooo good! I felt loved and wanted to give love! I thought I was awakening to my spirit and fear left...THEN, while looking on the Internet, I found the skeptics of the Course labeling the authors as deceptive, the book fictitious, that it has created spiritual confusion in which they exchange the truth for a lie, creating a market for the “feel good” spirituality of the Course. It really upset me! I feel disillusioned and, well, an IDIOT! Because I want what the Course teaches to be true! Why would someone make up something like that? Do you think they really spoke to Jesus? I don't want to get it wrong and be fooled. I trust you, I can tell you are honest and want to help people and I believe what you say.

    “Do not cast pearls before swine.”  The swine is the hypercritical mind that fears love, so when healing comes too near, it dissects it to oblivion. Yet truth cannot be killed, so it keeps popping up in spite of our fear or resistance to it. I wouldn’t pay much attention to those who try to bludgeon peace.  

    The only question to answer is, “Does this material (such as A Course in Miracles) speak to me and my heart?  Does it sustain me spiritually and broaden my vision and my path?  Does it work for me?  Is my life better for applying the principles? If so, it matters not what anyone else says about it or does with it. Your relationship with God or any expression of truth is as unique as you are. As long as you are true to your own path, you are in integrity. Everyone else can figure out what they need for themselves.

Devils and Demons?

I am 30, I was raised in a Christian household. My sister and I were led to believe that there are bad spirits (have read about these in near-death experience accounts) as well as the devil, and that if you would ever have obeyed them or been tempted to do something awful they suggested had they “suddenly appeared!” you would be heavily punished in the hereafter. (That the devils would be extremely unlikely to actually appear was neither here nor there, it seemed...!) The general message was that it would somehow still be known, by God or the devil or demons or whomever else...Even if such creatures do not have these powers or even exist, it still sometimes seems to me that it would be known by Someone if you *would* have done something bad by being tempted by “theoretical” creatures (or real creatures with theoretical powers.. Of course I logically reject this, but it was so deeply emphasized at the time...would love your help.

    Either God is, or is not. And if God is good, no so-called “evil” can have no power over truth. Either you are created in the image and likeness of God, or not. And if you are (and you are), your wholeness is unassailable.

     People who teach evil and devils feel guilty and afraid, and are simply passing along their fear to others. If you buy it, you have access to a dark world of fear’s creation. If you do not buy it, it cannot touch you.

     Demons and devils are nothing more than thought forms that people create and feed with their belief in them. Because God gave us the power to create with our minds, we can create experiences of hell and live in them, not because they are a fact, but because our minds are powerful. The same power that created the experience of hell can create the experience of heaven. In heaven you have a lot more authority because heaven is our birthright and hell is just a bad dream.

     So the answer is not to flee from demons or fight them, but to know their unreality and powerlessness. Think less in terms of good and evil, and more in terms of truth and illusion. When you realize an illusion for what it is, all you are left with is the truth, which is love.

Hold the Faith for Me

Hi Alan, You are my faithkeeper. I am from India. My consciousness has expanded tremendously since you touched my soul through your books. I was struggling on the threshold of my spiritual path, and then Universe introduced me to you and I found the missing piece of the puzzle in “Why your Life Sucks. Since then my perspective has been transformed.

Tomorrow will be a big day for me because I will co-create the biggest miracle of my life to date. I want you hold faith for me. Thanks.

 You got it. Congratulations on stepping into your miracle with faith. As A Course in Miracles teaches, “only the thoughts I think with God are true.”

How to Deal with People who are Cruel to Animals?

Alan, here's something I just can't understand, and it's the only time I really question if there is really a GOD. It's about the animals. Recently, I have been doing a lot of volunteer work for IDA (In Defense of Animals). I'm amazed at the extensive amount of cruelty and torture that innocent animals go through, so someone can wear a fur collar or coat; or so that people can go to the circus and watch animals of the wild being put in shows to balance on a ball with a silly cap on their head. The dog fights, cock fights, and bull fights; and Fois Gras on menus. And it just goes on and on. It's really “getting” to me. Where is GOD, for the animals? They couldn't have bad Karma; do they have a SOUL?

Anyone with a sensitive heart would feel hurt when we observe how cruelly or unkindly many people treat animals. In many ways animals, especially beloved pets, are gifts from God, and we can learn much from them. Being upset or angry at cruel people will not help you or the animals; their unkindness springs from their own upset and anger, so you want your energy to be aligned with the solutions, not the problem. Your job now is to be as loving as you can to animals, people, and yourself. Become a force toward healing, not so much by words, but by your energy. Send animals love and prayer, along with people who hurt them. You heal hurt not by more attack, but by compassion and forgiveness. You don’t have to condone their acts, but you send love to their soul. Let us all envision the day when humans can appreciate and respect animals as God’s creations, and live in harmony with them ― and each other.

Would People Love me if they Knew my Thoughts?

 I have a short history of mental problems, although I'm trying all I can to help myself. I'm not “dangerous” at all. I want nothing more than to live joyfully and, frankly, be far more giving and unselfish than before. I find it so difficult, though. Now that I look back on my recent mental state, I am alarmed. I've been so blind to other people and their needs that I'm so frightened that I've been acting like some sort of sociopath. There are some ugly questions which keep bothering me. In the past, I keep thinking, had I ever been given the option of killing my friends, having it wiped from my memory and perhaps getting something “good” I would have done it. I think it might be true. I would never do this in “real life”, that's why I'm so confused. I worry if they knew, they wouldn't love me. I feel like I'm beyond help often, though I hope and pray not. All I want is to move on, be accepted, love and be loved. Any advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you.

You may be saner than you know. In some ways you are more mentally healthy than many people, as you are deeply concerned that you want to be a good person and give and receive love. I commend you for being honest in admitting your feelings and thoughts. Many people have fantasies of hurting people they don’t like, but would never do it. While thoughts can be unkind or disturbing, if you do not act on them you have a healthy degree of control of your life. If you asked the people who you think would judge you, about their fantasies, you might be surprised that they have outlandish thoughts too. If you want to move on, rise beyond your self-judgments and fears. Know that you are good at your core, that your truest desire is to love, and have compassion for yourself as a spiritual being going through a human experience. Then you will bring life to everyone you meet and think about ― beginning with yourself.

Why do I feel Disconnected trying to Please my Religion? 

I picked up your book The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore ages ago.  Since then I have converted to Judaism, which was something inside me that I knew I needed to do.  Prior to that I was very spiritually adventurous and open-minded.  Since converting I have found myself doubting God and much of what I thought I knew in my New Age days.  Some Orthodox members (I had a Liberal conversion) have told me I am not Jewish and that Jews are more innately spiritual than non-Jews. I remember a chapter in your book where you talk about being Jewish. That is why I am writing you now.  I know in my heart there is a part of me that is very Jewish yet trying to fit into the religious aspects of Judaism has left me feeling disconnected from what I thought I knew about God and left out as some Jews won't even consider me Jewish because I didn't convert in the traditional Orthodox way. 

You have a unique and beautiful relationship with God which cannot be dictated by religious doctrine. If you feel Jewish in your heart, and you love the God that pure Judaism points to, that is good enough for God ― and you. Religion is not the same as spirituality, and you are more of a spirit than a religion. Many religions teach that they are more spiritual than other religions, which stems from insecurity and ego. Don’t go there or waste any time worrying or debating. The only thing that matters is that you feel connected to your inner spirit; your relationship with God is as unique as your fingerprints, real and worthy not by external validation, but by inner experience. You don’t have to justify your spirituality or get anyone else’s approval.  God is love, and all else is fear and illusion. Stay with the love, and God will reveal Itself right where you stand in the temple of your own heart.

What’s the Truth About Karma?

The word karma is bantered about in the spiritual world quite often.  Some sources such as Gary Zukav, Yogananda, and the Himalayan Institute seem to imply (at least to me) that some of our actions will incur a debt or suffering.  It seems that suffering would be a part of our growth, in their teachings. Other sources such as Abraham-Hicks will say such things as “There is no value in suffering.”  Teachers such as yourself and Mike Dooley seem to place much more value on learning through joy.  Can you explain karma and if possible, reconcile these teachings to help make my understanding more complete?

    You are touching on two different subjects here ― karma and suffering ― which are related but not identical. The fact that you have linked them almost as one, says a lot about how the concept of karma has indeed been bantered and misused. Karma is just as responsible for joy as it is for suffering, but minds trained in guilt and fear take a lofty concept and use it against themselves ― a great example of bad karma in action!

    Karma simply means that our thoughts and actions have results that affect us, and we can gain control over our results and our lives by thinking about our actions before we launch them. It’s actually a very empowering concept, as it indicates we can create the life we would choose, especially one of joy, connection, and deep reward.

    The only value in suffering is to realize that what you are doing is not working, and it’s time to try another way. If you place your finger in a flame, your pain receptors help you by giving you the message to pull your finger away quickly. But there is no value in keeping it there. So pain happens, but suffering is optional. Suffering is what happens when you don’t get the message that a pain is bringing you.

    You can learn just as easily ― and with a lot more fun ― by following the voice of joy. You are always being guided by your divine intuition – literally the voice of God speaking within you. The more you attune to your inner guidance, the lighter your path becomes, and pain becomes a more insignificant learning tool. The path becomes freer and more expansive, far more about appreciation and celebration.   As A Course in Miracles tells us, “God’s will for me is perfect happiness,”  and “When you learn to listen to the voice of Spirit, all decisions become as easy as breathing and your path becomes as gentle as walking down a quiet lane in summer.”

Why do Things Seem to go Wrong When they were Going Great?

My husband and I have both experienced this: Just when we begin to truly believe and just KNOW that something good is coming, the ceiling will fall in and bring something bad or disappointing. Why does this tend to happen when we keep hearing that true faith and the power of intention will create what we want? What are we doing wrong?

    You are simply dealing with a belief system and habits of thought. If you believe that things will go wrong as soon as they start going right, they will ― not because God is a sadist and loves to tease and torture His children ― but because you expect them to. You can create upsets by expectation and interpretation.

    To reverse the pattern, begin to question that things going wrong when they start to go right is an absolute truth. Have you ever had things go right, and keep going well? Do you know people who do not have the ceiling fall in?  Would you willing upgrade your belief so you can have what you want instead?  Take the affirmation, “The better it gets, the better it gets,” and apply it when things start going well. You will find that things start to shift.

    There’s another principle involved here: As you start to purify and upgrade your energy (resulting in things going more successfully), when something goes clunk, it feels like a bigger and harder clunk than if things were going worse in general. If you are driving a car at 5 miles an hour and you run into a tree, it is not much of a problem. If you hit a tree at 60 miles an hour, it’s a bigger thud. So the contrast at a higher vibration makes the resistance feel stronger.

     This analogy is not perfect because while you are traveling at a higher vibration you can also more easily readjust and pick up your moment again. So it’s more like a flexible bumper car that gets on with the journey quickly. But if you sit around and complain and wonder why things go so wrong, you lower your vibration again and you are back closer to where you started. So your best move is to land on your feet like a cat and get back in gear.

    What if you reinterpreted the negative event as a positive one?  Is there some way this could be helping you in a way that is not obvious, but ultimately an asset?  Are you so sure this is a setback, or could it be steppingstone? Spiritual masters pivot and turn minuses into pluses by adding a stroke of vertical awareness. So the God you thought was teasing you may be loving you. Perhaps when the ceiling caves in, it is giving you a better view of the sky.

I want to be a Giver, not Just Survive

I'm a 26 yr. old woman, intelligent, kind, and creative. I've had to learn how to parent myself most of my life. I've been in 2 and 1/2 years of therapy for depression, work 2 jobs to pay off debt, am in a play, and will begin teaching dance. I feel overwhelmed and frightened that I will drop the ball.   I feel I'm constantly fending off despair and hopelessness. No matter how much positive reinforcement I give myself, I feel a shadow over me. I desperately want to be happy. I want to trust my feelings, be assertive, and allow myself to be happy. I tend to force solutions because I compare myself to other people. I see a life of meaningless jobs, unsatisfying relationships if something, or me, doesn't change soon.  I want to break free from this shadow to believe that I deserve and will receive joy in my life but I feel confused and in need of direction. I am meant to be a giver in life, not just “survive” in this world, scraping by. I would honor any guidance you could share with me.

     I find it interesting that your question arrived at the same time as the one below. Have a look at my response below for the beginning of your answer.

     More personally for you, the contrast between meaningful activities and meaningless ones is really amped up for you, which means you are close to a shift or breakthrough. Sometimes we have to get fed up with what is not working before we are willing to ask for and claim what we really want. At this point the universe will respond. (See the book Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks). 

    It also sounds like a large portion of your upset comes from fear of what may go wrong. A good dose of relaxing into the present moment will help here. If you examine your painful thoughts and fears, you will find that they are largely related to possible future events, which are largely imagined, and most of which will never happen. You are always alright, right here, right now. If you can practice some meditation or visualization that drops you into your center, you will find that your fearful thoughts no longer have the power to drag you away from your current good. 

    I like that you describe yourself as “intelligent, kind, and creative.” If you know that about yourself, you are in very good shape. It means that you know that you have the inner resources to create the life you would choose. Keep identifying with those powerful attributes, and your fears will evaporate because you will realize they have nothing to do with who you really are.

How to Deal with Anxiety and Disaster?

I was wondering if you ever get afraid? I have that nervous, anxious feeling all the time and would really be happy to have it go away even for a little while. With all the pain in the world lately, I have been apprehensive and have a hard time comprehending what happened in New Orleans, USA.  I wonder what those people did to deserve that? How do you know for sure that there is God? I think there is, but because I don't understand him, He makes me nervous.

    Yes, I do sometimes get afraid – yet over my lifetime I have learned to deal with fear in healthier ways, so it lasts for shorter times and its affect on my life is lesser. 

    Your anxious feeling means that you have lost sight of the well-being that is our natural state. Fear, upset, and nervousness are momentary detours or clouds blocking the light. Many people in the world are afraid and motivated by fear, and this tends to create the illusion that the things we fear are worthy of our belief and attention. When the media feeds this belief by constant attention to disaster, it seems quite formidable. Yet any person who has risen beyond fear has discovered that well-being is more worthy of our attention and action than upset. Happiness is not random, but a choice we make, and we can cultivate it by shifting our attention to what works in us and around us, and staying connected to our heart and spirit.  

    Katrina and other natural disasters tug at our heart and cause us to question, “Why?”  It does not serve to see the affected people as being punished; this proceeds from an old limiting idea of a punitive God, which would make anyone nervous and downright terrified. As long as you think of God as anything but love, you will be afraid. Rousseau said, “God created us in His image and likeness, and we returned the compliment.” 

    One thing that helps me put such events into perspective is to recognize that it is not so much what happens that is important, but how we handle it. Some people will use the hurricane as an excuse to curse life, separate themselves from others, and grow bitter. Others will use it to reach out, connect, help where they can, and find encouragement in the power of the human spirit.  A friend of mine in New Orleans is helping others and learning major spiritual lessons through the experience. There are others who need help and receive it, and grow closer to God through that experience. Every person related to Katrina or other disasters has their unique experience and lessons. Some will report it to be a major turning point in their lives. 

    Pain and disaster are nothing new in the world, and there is not more lately than there has ever been. There is just lots of attention to it. Joy and wholeness are also nothing new; they have always been, and always will be. If we paid as much attention to our blessings as our difficulties, the world we live in would be quite different.

    I know God not so much through my intellect, but through my heart and inner knowing. There is so much love, beauty, wisdom, and poignancy in life. Obviously a great intelligence is behind our existence, and we are a part of It. We are here to recognize and practice the presence of love, and as we do, everything takes on a new meaning and inner peace comes forth.

 How do you Stop Thinking about Someone? 

How do you stop thinking about someone?

    First you decide if you enjoy thinking about them or not. I gather from your brief question that you would rather not think about them.

    If not, notice how bad it feels to think about them in the way you are. Then either (1) Find a way to think about them that leaves you feeling better, such as focusing on what you appreciate about them and the gifts they have brought into your life. Or (2) Think about someone or something else that leaves you feeling better.

How do I Stay Loving and Positive?

I lost my parents when I was in my 20's. I am now 41 and I have gone through some tough health issues; I find myself thinking scary thoughts. I know in my heart that is unhealthy but I can't seem to shake off always thinking bad things. I think I create anxiety attacks. I read your daily book and I sit and think about the statement. Then I start my day and I lose the peace it gave me when I read it. Years ago I read Joy is my Compass and it turned things around for me at that time. I just feel like I don't know what to do, where to turn for positive understanding and support. I have been told that I have such an open loving heart. I have lost sight of that part of me that I believe offered me such peace. I feel I need a large dose of your type of energy. I can't really afford much more than living day by day. Can you offer any guidance? When I read your books, you reach me. How can I hold it?

    Your recognition that your current pattern is not what you want, coupled with your desire to shift, will help you immensely. No, it is not natural or required that you live in fear. Peace and ease are much closer to your true identity and purpose. As you claim that, things will start to shift.

     You start your day on a positive note, but then get distracted. This is quite common; much of the world’s activities are based on fear and separateness, so you have to stay focused to keep your peace and joy. I suggest you take mini soul-refreshing moments during the course of your day. Stop, step back, breathe, and do something, even for a few moments, to renew your spirit. Go outside and take a short walk; pick up a book and read an inspiring page; put on your favorite music; phone a friend; take a nap; get a massage. You will find that even a short period of reconnecting with your Source will get you a lot of mileage, and sustain you until your next time of connection.

     Your loving heart is more real than the pattern of fear you have stepped into. All you are dealing with here is a habit of thought that was learned and practiced. Just as you learned and practiced it, you can relearn who you were before you stepped aside, and become who you were born to be. That process is much faster and easier than your learned resistance, because it is natural to you.

     The dose of energy you seek lives within you. I or others can inspire you, which is important for you to keep receiving, but ultimately you will find that the fulfillment you seek lives within you. The moment that becomes clear to you, everything will be new and you will be well on your way home. You already are.

I Want to Connect on a Higher Level

I see that while finding our purpose, we may not realize that we are indeed being guided. I have often gotten in my own way. Things I didn't understand before, are beginning to fit. I would like to connect with others on a spiritual level, but I'm not sure how. Many seem wrapped up in their own world, oblivious to the universe around them. I have been one of them. I don't want to exist in my own little universe anymore. I want to tap into the magnificence the universe has to offer and discover ways to give back in my own special way. I am taking your advice not to "try so hard". I was only exhausting myself. I need to accept the guidance that starts within me. I am interested in understanding connecting with others on a higher level. I wonder if you have some suggestions. Your perspective and straight answers have helped me so many times. I am grateful to you for your guidance.

The answer is simpler than you may think: Establish your energy in your goal, and let the Law of Attraction take care of the details. If you believe that you have to do it all yourself with a sense of strain and struggle, you get balled up in the “how to” of it. But if you launch your intention and stay in the feeling of what you want, life will connect you with the right people and events with out a lot of hassles. If there is something you need to do and can do, you will know it. If not, delegate it to the ways of Spirit. There is more help out there for you than you have been tapping into, and you can summon it by thought, prayer, trust, and alignment with your purpose.  

Angry at Administration

The Bush administration appears to be systematically and "intentionally" using the resources of the U.S. to further its own personal goals at the expense of the nation. I assume you know about the various issues, so I won't spell them out. I am appalled that the leader of the free world blatantly pursues this course. I am angry, disgusted, incredulous, etc. etc. etc. How do I deal with these thoughts and emotions????? Forgive and forget doesn't quite do it for me.

You are not the first to feel such indignation, or the last. There many now, and many throughout the ages who have observed their government doing things they would not condone. You are asking in the name of countless people.

To begin, Einstein declared, "You cannot solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it."  To truly solve a problem, you must rise above the obvious issues and perceive from a broader perspective. Only then do you stand a chance to make a real and lasting change.

Politics, almost by definition, are divisive. There are good guys and bad guys, villains and victims, allies and enemies, factions,conflict, and on and on. The moment you go into a state of upset and resistance to a political leader or faction, you are thrown into the very fray you are trying to solve. I guarantee you that you will never solve political issues from the political level. You will solve political issues only from a spiritual level.

Many political leaders play on fear.  "You are in great danger, and I can save you," is an age-old political tool. And many have given their power to it. The answer, then, is not to fight those who summon illusion on their behalf, or even to criticize illusions (for that only empowers them) but to remember truth and not be afraid. Anger is fear under pressure. Fear is a sign that you believe another power has usurped the presence of God. If God were present, no matter the latest frightening illusion, how would you feel or act differently?

On another level, a sense that "this is not right" denotes that there is a place inside you that knows what is right, spiritually speaking. War and pain are indeed not the will of God, and part of you knows and remembers that. So your internal guidance system is functioning well, and you can bless that.

The spiritual teacher Abraham proclaims that the Law of Attraction is always operating. Applied to your question, everyone involved in a conflict has an investment in it. Those who do not value conflict are not invested in it. They are invested in living peace.

So your only recourse, like all those who value peace, is to remain at peace. You vote with your energy more than your words or your ballot. If you do not wish for your government to wage war, then you must expand and extend the amount of peace in the world by doing whatever you know how to do to stay in a peaceful state of mind and heart yourself. Gandhi noted, "The pure love of one person can offset the hatred of millions." That person would be you.

When is Brave Stupid?

When is brave just being stupid? I know intuition is involved, but say you FEEL it to be right and everyone else is saying "Oh, no, you are crazy." Are there any guides to watch for, that will make it clearer? I ask for guidance and watch for signs, but am wondering if there are any other things to watch/ask for?
 

There can be a fine line between heroism and foolishness. If you feel it to be right, in your gut, in your heart, that is a strong sign right there. The fearful, self-doubting mind needs approval from the outside world. The confident spirit needs approval only from the inner world. A sense of joy and enthusiasm when you consider your goal is a strong indication. Then lean into your project, taking small steps toward it at first. You may find doors opening and supportive people, events, and synchronicities showing up. Keep asking for guidance, and then turning the project back over to Spirit, praying, "If this is right and good for me and everyone involved, show me and bring it on. If not, I release it and let Spirit bring a better way." Valid dreams have a way of keeping crawling into your lap. Don't try to push or force, but instead open and allow. Remember that it is not your job to make it happen. It is your job to cooperate with what wants to happen, and then let the universe, in its infinite wisdom and power, fill in the blanks. It is not people's agreement you need, but God's. You will see and you will know. This could be more about you trusting yourself, than any particular external manifestation.

Close Encounter of the Meditation Kind

I attended a workshop you were giving at a local church. I'd discovered your book, The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore about a year earlier and was really excited about hearing what you had to say.

Towards the end of your lecture you guided us through a deep meditation. I had never meditated in my life before that night, but somehow I was able to go deep --so deep that I became oblivious to the participants around me. That's when I felt a presence come up behind me. And for reasons I don't understand, my feeling was that it was yellow. More importantly, this presence touched me at the center of my forehead, for what seemed about five seconds, then disappeared. What amazes me is that it never occurred to me to open me eyes and say "Stop." Like I knew that this presence was not of this world and that I was safe. Have you ever had anyone report a similar encounter after one of your workshops?

It is not unusual for people in meditation, especially a group meditation, to experience visions or various kinds of visitations. While this is not the goal of meditation, while you are relaxed and open, energies from spiritual dimensions often show up and make various impressions or deliver messages. Sometimes this happens through a thought, an image, a feeling, or, as in your case, the sense of touch. It sounds like your experience was very beautiful and inspiring, so I would savor it and receive it as a gift from your inner being showing up to say, "I love you and all is well."

Balance between Searching and Accepting Help

I can't find the balance between searching for a way to improve my life, and turning it over to my Higher Power. If I can have what I want by BELIEVING I deserve it, is my thinking just not good enough? Do I just not BELIEVE enough? Am I not working hard enough? Or does my Higher Power just have something else in mind for me? Where do MY heart's desires and creating MY own destiny come in, if God has it already decided? I know that I am growing and learning from the horrible situation I am in, but I am exhausted trying to BELIEVE my way out of it. If I can HAVE whatever I want, why does it seem wrong or ungrateful to want it? How do I get out of a situation I must have created because I didn't BELIEVE I deserved better, when I am so tired I can't THINK anymore? How do I stop limiting myself and move past this really rough time in my life? How do I start making choices that prove I BELIEVE that I deserve an abundant, non-abusive, happier life for myself and my children?

You are trying too hard. I got tired just reading your question.

Real change comes when we relax into our good and allow it by knowing we deserve it, more than trying to force it. You are definitely in the "trying to force it" mode. Not that you don't deserve all the good things you want. You are just in the habit of trying to squeeze things out of life, rather than attracting your good by recognizing your worth to have it and God's ability to provide it.

Believing is not enough. Knowing is. Believing is of the mind. Knowing is of the heart and spirit. You need to tap into the place inside you that already knows. Then you will be amazed at how things shift in your favor.

God does not decide your destiny for you. God decides your destiny through you. Your desire to get out of a horrible situation is God calling you to your higher destiny.

You may need to take more action to get out of your painful situation. Not try, as you have been. Do. "Pray with your feet moving."  Do whatever you need to do to change your life. Then you will be empowered in ways you would not have been if you simply hoped or thought about it. Action is the logical result of believing and knowing, and its fruits are far sweeter when you have reached for them with your own hand.

How to Stay in Power and Worth?

How do I go about staying in my own power, and worth? I lent someone your book (Life Sucks) and never saw it again! mental control, focus?
A few instructions would be appreciated. If I could be consistent until it becomes natural, I know what I consider a MIRACLE right now, would become my natural every moment Life, full of Love and Joy without the fear that it wont last.
 

You are already on to the principles, and just need to keep focusing and practicing. Even to understand that what you consider a miracle now, would become consistently natural, is a huge statement that you are open and ready for that level of living. If you can conceive it, you can achieve it.

Begin by practicing reframing. So you loaned someone your book, and it did not return. You can reframe yourself as a victim or someone who does not have control over your life. You can also look at it in several other ways:  1. You helped someone get a book that can ultimately change their life, and you were a channel of good and blessing. 2. You can step up to the plate and ask that person to please return the book.  3. You live in an abundant universe and you can easily go out and get another book for yourself. 4. Next time you have a book you value, you can be at choice and not lend it out. So you have lots more options than you may already see.

Fear always proceeds from a belief in lack. When you recognize that you live in a universe of abundant supply, fear evaporates and you step into the joy you already recognize.

Why Pray if God is Already Taking Care of Us?

I am a great fan, and congratulations on the new website! I know you are a believer in the power of prayer. I just wonder why it's necessary. I am the parent of 3 children and love them dearly. We attend to their needs, and care as much as possible. They don't have to ask us to be cared for or looked after, nor do they have to pray or use positive affirmations We take care of them because we love them. Why is it any different with God? We are all God's children, yet we are told that prayer is the way to receive God's graces and bring peace and love into our lives. Why doesn't God take care of us simply because we're his children? It's like by praying you are a student in God's class raising your hand jumping up and down saying ""God, take care of me"". I'm interested in your thoughts on what seems to be a double standard of sorts.

You make many excellent points, and I wish people who want to know how to pray would read your account and perspective. You are absolutely correct that we are cared for by God as you describe. And if a human parent is capable of so much, how much greater is God's love?  The purpose of prayer is to remember the presence of God, connect with it, and live from it. If you are already doing that, you are praying with your life, and expressing God through your family. What a blessing for you, your children, and all who look upon you. Thank you for your insight and example.

Attacked When You Try to Change Your Life?

Is it true that sometimes when you are trying to turn your life around, it seems that everything negative tries to attack you? Or is this the ego not wanting to be displaced. I seem to be having this problem.
 

It is true that whenever you step forward to claim a new level of life, old habits or patterns of fear or resistance show up. "Whenever I claim a big new Yes, all my old no's come back to greet me."

I would not, however, regard this as anything negative attacking you. That makes for a source or force outside yourself. You are simply dealing with habits of thought here. And just as habits were created by practicing certain thoughts, they can be changed by practicing other thoughts, ones you choose.

Regard the negative thoughts and feelings as signs that you are indeed moving ahead. Then just keep moving ahead. Look at each thought or fear clearly, with detachment, and ask yourself if this is something worthy of listening to. Then turn your thoughts to the goals you would like to achieve instead. You will be amazed at how old limiting beliefs evaporate when you devote yourself to your ideal result.

Parents Live in My Head

I love your work and any advice on this is much appreciated…My father was a failed artist, gambler, alcoholic, and a ne’er-do-well his entire life. My mother was a severe neurotic who popped tranquilizers and anti-depressants like candy in order to keep her mind and nerves intact. My childhood was the beginning, middle, and end of all things sucky. Now those haunting memories undermine my dreams and aspirations as an adult. Like my father, I have become an unsuccessful artist and take meaningless odd jobs in order to survive. My relationships with women have also been marred by my self-loathing and self-destructive behavior. I blame my negative patterns on a childhood drenched in poverty, delinquency, and moral decay--but I also recognize that is a copout. I want to live a clean happy life. I want to have meaningful relationships. I want to succeed as an artist. But all these things elude me. I read spiritual books. I meditate. I pray. It helps. But sooner or later my inner-demons show up and throw a party. In my lucid moments I see that I’m just like my father, and my greatest fear is that I will end up like him. Yet, another part of me believes I can escape my karma and write my own destiny. There is always a cosmic tug-of-war going on in my head and soul between the best in me and the worst in me. This inner conflict robs me of my happiness, clarity, and energy. I want to erase the memories of my parents and childhood, but it is impossible. They are always there watching me. Every time I strive for something beautiful and pure in my life, I get halfway there and then the decayed and rotted ghosts of my father and mother appear in all their dysfunctional splendor, reminding me of the seed I came from, reminding me how foolish I am to expect greatness and success when I come from THEM. And it all gets worse when I see that I am turning out just like my father...
 

You certainly have offered a lot of valuable material here. I'm sure a lot of other readers can identify with feeling limited by early programming. It can indeed by unnerving to see yourself repeating painful patterns modeled by your parents.

I'd like to begin with some quotes that have been meaningful for me:

We are protagonists and the authors of our own drama. It is up to us; there is no one left to blame. Neither the system nor our leaders, nor our parents. We can’t go out and hang the first amoeba. (Rebecca McClen Novick)

Creative minds have been known to overcome even the worst programming. (Interestingly, this was said by Ana Freud, daughter of Sigmund Freud.)

Finally, a quote from Abraham-Hicks, who, in response to the objection, you can't teach on old dog new tricks, answered, "You have no idea what an old dog you are.” Meaning that no matter what childhood programming you received, who you are is deeper and more powerful, and you have choices that supersede the patterns your parents displayed.

Remember that where attention goes, energy flows. The more time and energy you focus on how your parents imprinted you negatively, the more real that experience seems, and the more it stays alive in your life now. Not because it has power over you, but because you are giving it power with your thoughts and emotions.

Begin by shifting your focus from painful role models to empowering, uplifting ones. Who do you know who represents the kind of person you would like to be and the life you would like to live? What have you done, and who are you when you do something that exceeds the patterns your parents demonstrated? If you look, you will find evidence that there is more to you than your parents programmed, and your potential is quite vast.

This might be an excellent moment to do some forgiveness and release exercises around your parents. Write or speak (in private by yourself, for you own empowerment) words of forgiveness and release to your parents. What are you grateful for, that they gave you? Can you find compassion in your heart for the wounds that caused them to make the errors they made? If you can release them, you will be released yourself. Finally make a statement that you are consciously, purposely letting go of anything they said or did that has held you back, so that you may move on and create the life of your own choosing.

I wrote an entire book (novel) around this specific subject, titled My Father's Voice. I think you will find it helpful.

You might also like to see the film A Knight's Tale, the theme of which is, "You can change your stars".

Blessings on your journey. 

Keep Praying, or Let Go?

I read your book Handle With Prayer. I am a Christian and believe in the power of prayer. In one of your chapters, you said holding on to prayer beyond its due time is an affirmation of lack of faith and will bear negative results. You say that overpraying is in effect telling God you don't believe that He heard your request or will answer it, so I'd better badger him until I get what I want. That disturbed me because sometimes God places on our hearts to pray for someone through perseverance. As it says in the Bible through the Parable of the Persistent Widow (Luke 18:1-8) and Mark 11:5-8. Both speak of persistence in prayer, which God likes and never condemns. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting what you're really trying to say. If our prayers truly come from the heart and are genuine, nothing bad will come of that. Yes. I believe in letting go and letting God but as I said if God places upon my prayers might be on behalf of that person and it is also showing how my faith is playing a part in it. I know this from a personal level. Thank you for your time. Dee
 

Hi Dee, That's a really good question. Thanks for the sincerity of your asking. I also like the parable you quoted. The lesson in "Handle with Prayer" that you refer to, focuses on overpraying. Perseverance in prayer is also valuable. In the Bible we are told to "pray without ceasing." This means that we must keep our thoughts and energies aligned with Spirit as much as possible. How do you know whether to continue with a prayer, or to let it go? By whether or not you have come into the consciousness of the result that you are praying for. If you are praying for someone's health, for example, can you see and feel them as whole, happy, healthy, and blessed? As soon as you have clicked into that vision as if it is already done, your prayer is complete and you can release it. If, at a later time, you slip back into the thought and feeling that they are ill and not whole, it is time to pray again, until you reclaim the energy of their wholeness. The purpose of prayer is to align your mind and heart with the way God sees the situation - as already healed. If God places in your heart to pray for someone, then certainly do so. Do your best to pray from a position of celebration that the prayer is already answered

Trying Harder, Getting Worse

What do I do when I have been taking your suggestions to heart, am still reading Dare to be Yourself, and my life is getting worse! I feel as if I am still going because I have to.
 

Sometimes when you make a strong decision to move ahead, any fear or resistance in or around you shows up and things seem to be getting worse. "Whenever I step forward to greet a big new yes, my old no's come back to greet me." If you water a plant intensely, the plant grows, but so do the weeds around it. But if you keep watering the plant and plucking the weeds, eventually the plant becomes dominant and the weeds are not much of an issue at all. This is a time for faith and hanging in there. You are closer to success than you know. Just relax, breathe, and keep doing whatever keeps you feeling connected to yourself and your Higher Power. There are beauty, riches, and opportunities right where you are now. You have come to far to turn back now. These principles work to the extent that you put them into practice. Keep loving yourself, praying, focusing on what is working and where you want to end up, and doing what keeps you connected, and you will attract lots of support from the universe. Remember that you are worth the good you desire.

Anxiety, Seeking Light

Thank you for the article that things will turn out fine. I am in a terrible state of panic and anxiety after a period of 10 years of happiness. I cannot sleep and don't want to go on any more medications. I'm on one already and working with a homeopathic MD . I'm a student of the Course but feel lost right now. You're article gave me a ray of hope. Do you have any more advice for me?? I need help so much and I love you and your books. You are so joyful and that is what I want...I want truth and enlighten but I'm having some trouble these days...what feels like the darkest period of my life. Could you send me some advice or light? Love, Kerry Conley
 

Hi Kerry, First of all, let us look at the bright side: You have just enjoyed 10 years of happiness. As far as I can tell, that is a pretty good run! As for the fear and panic you are experiencing now, regard it as a temporary experience through which you are passing. It is not a thing, but a momentary blockage of the current of life that is far more natural to you than pain. What kind of thoughts plunge you into pain, and what thoughts relieve you from it? Cultivate the thoughts that feel best, and leave the rest. Many people go through a dark night of the soul at one or several points in their life. I have. The good news is that when you come out on the other side, you are freer and stronger than beforehand. This is a time to look within and connect with your Spiritual Source. It is closer than you know. Pray, meditate, read uplifting books, nurture yourself, tell as much truth as you can about your inner desires and what would make you that happiest. You will emerge shining and bless the experience as pivotal. You can and will make this work in your favor.

 

How to Find the Courage to Start Again?

You probably don't remember me. But I will never forget you :Weiss) You taught me how to live "juicy" . I met you at Omega for a passion workshop years ago. I just became an Ordained Minister on paper (so far). I am at a major crossroads in my life-once again. I am in a very bad marriage and need to summon up the inner strength to take some big steps- I keep getting sick. I've just been through drug rehab due to sleeping pills and have a burning desire to learn to live juicy again. I will never forget your story and how you just changed gears. I wish I were more like you. How can I get that courage to just become unstuck and start again. Why am I resisting change so much. It's as if misery is comforting still to me. I am really fearful that I don't have what it takes. I feel so close to living my life for me a joyous blessing! yet so far. I don't know where to begin since I am so financially dependent on my husband. I don't even have a car anymore. Can you give me some advice? Thank you and many blessings, Arlene
 

Hi Arlene, You are doing better than you think you are. You have some tremendous opportunities before you to build muscles and grow. Getting sick is a sign that you are leading a sickening way of life. It is a wake-up call for you to tell the truth about who you are and what you want, and to stand in your power. We learn by contrast. Sometimes getting what we don't want motivates us to figure out what we do want, and take important steps in that direction. Your husband is not the source of your good or your financial supply. You have access to many resources. Many, many women have felt that they could not stand on their own two feet financially, only to discover that they had talents and skills that serve them far better than when they were depending on someone else. As a minister, you recognize that God is your source, and you have access to strength and answers beyond those you try to conjure from a place of fear. As for being like me, you are like me - in your own way. The traits you respect in me are traits that are already within you. "You spot it, you got it." I like the phrase you use, "begin again." You always have to power to start fresh, building triumphantly on everything you have learned. You are indeed close to living juicy.

Ready for Rebirth

I  have been through a few years of struggle and feel ready for rebirth. Is this cycle of misfortune over for me?
 

If you are truly ready for rebirth, it is ready for you. Struggle is not required; it is learned, not natural to who you are. As you free yourself from the belief or expectation that you deserve hardship, it dissipates. As you come out on the other side, you will see how it all fits into the big picture, and you are free to choose a lighter way.

What is Your Religion?

I have begun to read your book, "Handle with Prayer." It's great and so far, I totally agree with the inspirational messages that you relay. I have within the past year begun to really get into religion and start to make sense out of things. I was wondering if you could tell me of what religious background you are from. I have been reading a lot about Gnosticism and have noticed that some of the ideas that you speak of have been similar. It's just a curious question, but what religion do you practice? Thank you so much for your inspiration.
 

Thanks for asking. I grew up Jewish, and practiced Orthodox Judaism for many years. After that, I began to appreciate the truth and beauty in many spiritual paths. I believe that every religion contains a ray of light of truth, and there are some truths common to all of them. I respect anyone who follows his or her religion or spiritual path with sincerity and devotion. I think it is important for each of us to look into our own heart and be honest about what speaks to us most powerfully, and move ahead on that path.

How to Deepen?

How do you really deepen your relationship to God?
 

You deepen your relationship to God in two ways: First, by creating and staying with a daily spiritual practice, such as prayer, meditation, yoga, being in nature, reading uplifting books, or participating in a spiritual group. Second, by seeking God in the easy-to-overlook aspects of daily life, such as talking to a friend, cooking, playing with a child, listening to music, or looking at the sky. If you sincerely seek God, you will find God. Keep asking yourself, "Who am I?" "Who is God?" "Where is God?" and "What is my relationship with God?" The deeper you look, the more you will find. It's the greatest and most rewarding adventure in life. Blessings on your path.

Trying to Force too Much?

I have for some time now understood the importance of focusing attention (thoughts, feelings, etc.) on whatever it is we would like to create in our lives. Perhaps I'm not applying the principle correctly, as I've been unsuccessful in my attempts up to this point. And believe me, I'm not just sitting around thinking positive thoughts waiting for things to happen. I seem to be quite efficient at coming up with reasons why something wouldn't work out. This obviously doesn't serve me well, but I sometimes can't seem to shift my focus. Do these thoughts completely undo what I'm trying to accomplish? Do the negative thoughts cancel the positive ones out, and then you're back to square one? In "Why Your Life Sucks", I think you wrote something like "Things always work out, especially when you don't try to force them." Perhaps I'm forcing things. I don't know! Just feeling frustrated and a bit confused. I thank you in advance for your response.
 

You have a strong mind, which is a great asset. When you point your thoughts in a negative direction, you can effectively cancel out your positive thoughts. The good news is that the universe is always seeking homeostasis, or balance and well being, so life is betting in your favor.

A good mantra for you would be to "let go and let God." Step back from being a doer, and follow your inner voice of joy. Play more. You may be taking the whole process more seriously than necessary. What do you love to do just for fun? Who are you when you are relaxed, in the flow, creative ,and trusting? That is the energy within you to cultivate. I am certain it is in there; you just need to value that enough to let it come forth.

The other good news is as you start to tip the balance of your energies toward joy, the power of your mind and feelings will magnetize to you people and situations that inspire and empower you.

You have the intellectual understanding of how life works; now recognize and practice that it's never too late to have a happy childhood:-)
  

Which is the Voice of Guidance?

Are there such things as having 3 “voices” that you are privy to? In this respect I mean, 1) the "voice" or feeling from the Divine Source, 2) the voice from our inner self or soul, and 3)the voice of the mind, or "chatter". I have read that when we receive guidance, it usually comes in the form of the second person “you” and is positive whereas the voice of the mind is usually in the first person--"I" and mostly contains criticism and negativity. But there are times where you get a sense of another voice that uses "I" and simply states facts like "I resist myself”. What is the source of this last voice? It doesn’t seem false and critical like the mind nor does it seem to come from the gut yet it seems to ring true.
 

It's a lot simpler than that. Think of "voices" in this way: Everything you think, feel, say, or do either makes you feel better, or worse. It draws you closer to peace, or drags you from it. Whatever brings you greater joy comes from love and whatever detracts from your joy comes from fear.

Practice listening for the voice for joy and following that, and you will discover that the guidance you seek lives within you.

As for the "I" and "you," it doesn't matter that much. Truth can speak in the first person or second. Concentrate less on the words and more on the feeling.

Of one thing you can be sure: the critical voice is not your own. It was learned from others projecting their self-criticism onto you. The voice of love never puts you down. Pay attention to the kindest voice inside you, and it will guide you all the way home.
 

Keep it Simple

How can you be so all-encompassing with the philosophies of "the meaning of life" and still remember to breathe? I have to keep things simple...A Course In Miracles, for example, drives me nuts! I've decided to let you condense things for me. What do you think about "keep it simple and have fun"? I just can't think myself through this one, can I?
 

As you already realize, your head can take you only so far. Then you have to trust your heart. Indeed simplicity is a pure expression of spirituality. God is much simpler than most people make out.

      Take the best and leave the rest. Everything is not for everyone. If a path or method frustrates you, don't go there. Stay with what works for you and feels best inside.

You are closer to home than you realize.

Help for Gay and Lesbian?

Re: The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, thank you for your book.. I am a transgender and always felt that God had abandoned me. As a result I ended up on the streets homeless and addicted to heroin. Your book let me know it was not God who hurt me, but people who hurt me. The end result is that I have been clean and sober for 14 years. would like to know if you have more books to help other gay and lesbian readers....
 

Thank you for your testimonial. I found your story very inspiring. I congratulate you for taking charge of your life. I'm sure you built many spiritual muscles in the process.

      The two books I would recommend for gay and lesbian readers are Dare to Be Yourself and I Had it All the Time

      In my May newsletter I have an article about self-acceptance for homosexuals. If you haven't already signed up for my newsletter, you may want to check it out.

      Keep believing in yourself. You are greatly loved.  

Trying for a Happy Life

I'm a 24 year old woman, university student studying Korean literature. These days I feel very gloomy. Frankly, always feel blue. 'cause I always failed at my test such as a high school an entrance exam, a good university entrance exam. I'm not satisfied with myself. Anyway so to speak the main subject, I red your book "why your life sucks" I think your book is very good! ^^* It is very helpful to me. so I want to tell you Thank you very much. I feel blue but I'll try for happy life. It is very difficult for me, but I'll try. Your book is amazing , very good, very nice^^* I want you feel always happy ^^* Good bye! from se bong, Kim, your fan reader
 

Hi Kim, Thanks for writing. It sounds like you have made a decision to change your life, and you will. Sometimes in the early stages of self-discover and the spiritual path, you face old habits of thought that may be negative. If you just stay with doing what makes you feel happy - even little pieces that are available at any moment - you will gradually change your vibration and happiness will come more and more. Blessings on your path. I believe in you. Alan

How to Break a Repeating Cycle?

I stumbled upon your articles on an inspirational website and have been hooked every since! My question: How do I break a cycle of repeating the same patterns over and over again? i.e. choosing the same type of man; ending up in the same job situation with abusive bosses' I know "lessons are repeated until they are learned". I "think" I am acknowledging my "lessons" yet the same patterns keep showing up over and over. Your response is greatly appreciated.
 

The very fact that you are asking the question means that you are ready to shift. You have experienced enough contrast that you have decided to do it differently - and you will.

First off, sometimes it takes some time before the old patterns clear out entirely. Real change usually happens gradually, so don't be discouraged if you whole life doesn't shift overnight. You may be moving ahead faster than you know. Intention and commitment form the foundation of your destiny so it far surpasses your history.

Next, don't spend a lot of time talking about or worrying about the old patterns. That only reinforces them. Be gentle with yourself. Let your past be your past, and love yourself by seeing yourself (and talking about yourself) more where you are or where you'd like to be, than where you've been.

Then, spend as much time, thought, and energy as you can on the following: 1.What is your vision of where you would like to be (new pattern) 2. Why you want to be there. 3. Why you deserve to be there. You are building energy to support the reality of your heart's desire.

You may also need to do some clearing out. Identify the people or situations you associate with your old undesired patterns, and if it not necessary, don't go there. Make space for what you want.

Finally (perhaps most important), ask for help from your Higher Power. Pray about your heart's desire. Ask God to help you do what you have had difficulty doing for yourself.

Regard your painful old patterns as a blessing that has helped you make a more conscious choice for your future. The old behaviors are not stumbling blocks, but stepping stones.

The moment you are ripe to receive your new and more rewarding situations, the Law of Attraction will assist you with the details.
 

Finding Little Meaning Going to Church

I am a woman of 67, and a Roman catholic, I have just finished reading your book The Dragon Doesn't live here anymore, what a wonderful book it has helped me so much. I see the Holy communion as you do and I love being part of it, but find very little in going to my church. I felt more uplifted reading your book than attend mass. I have been searching for some time now. please give some advice if you can. Very confused
 

Hi Rita,

I am impressed and inspired by your honesty. It takes courage and heart to admit that you are ready for the next step on your path, even if it means change. This is a wonderful sign of life and truth.

Your real relationship with God is in your own heart. That is where real communion lives. Religions help to point us in that direction, but ultimately we must go within to find what we are looking for. We take the raft to cross the river, but when we get to the other side, we leave the raft behind and continue the journey via new means.

Now God will guide you at every step of the way. I recommend you study A Course in Miracles. It speaks in a voice you will understand and in which you will find great inspiration and peace.

Your understanding and relationship of church will expand to embrace everyone you meet, wherever you go. You will find God in all eyes, and you will keep meeting yourself. Rejoice that you are being moved to live in a larger world. The love you feel in your heart will touch the love in other hearts, and your life will be new. You are greatly loved, and you are not alone.
 

Overcoming Shyness

I am a positive person who has worked a lot on his self development. My initial need was to overcome insecurity and shyness. All the work I have done has helped me in many areas of my life, but the feelings of insecurity and shyness are still there. Often I am in the spotlight (no matter how big is the group) I blush, I sweat and I feel fear. The reason might be that I have been often humiliated as a child from my older brother who did not mean to harm me, but he did. He asked others to laugh at me until I cried. Although I have many moments of confidence when this feeling is overcoming me I feel defeated and dead. I even chose to work as a teacher (meaning in front of people) so that I can overcome it. To some extent I can deal with it, especially when I bring myself in the spotlight of attention. But when others bring me in the spotlight of attention I feel so insecure and threatened. I want to live peacefully and with confidence. Please help me !Love, Billy
 

Hi Billy,

Thank you for your honesty. To be so naked about your feelings process is a sign of great self-confidence and strength. You may believe in yourself more than you know.

I think we can all identify with fear of being put on the spot, laughed at, or embarrassed. I have certainly faced such issues. Surveys show that public speaking is a greater fear for most people than death!"

Some people would describe your issue as "self-consciousness," or being overly concerned about what people think of you. From a spiritual perspective, however, the self that you are worried about being put on the spot, is not your true self at all. It is a learned image of yourself, adopted from the others (who didn't feel so great about themselves, either.) Your true self is one of great strength, love, and confidence. Who you are in your moments of greatest peace and clarity, is who you truly are. Begin to cultivate and identify with that self, and the fearful self will have less and less power over you.

In any situation, there is always a next level of relaxation you can go to. If you start to get uptight when the spotlight is focused on you, take a deep breath and ask yourself how you would be feeling and what you would be doing if you felt even a bit more relaxed. Just thinking about that will take you there. At some point you will see that you can be in front of people and feeling pretty good about yourself and what you are doing.

Your taunting brother is now just a shadow figure from your past. There are lots of wonderful people out there, including your good friends, who are happy to support you for showing up and being yourself. Recognize and appreciate them, and you will not only get over feeling shy; you will start to have fun standing in the light.
 

Muslim Seeks Unity

Dear Alan, I greatly and dearly adore your work. A person who grew up as a Muslim in the Islamic culture, I came to terms that you are no different teacher then the Imam, my Islamic spiritual leader in my Mosque. I have read your books "The dragon doesn't leave here any more". Four year ago, and time to time I do go back and read, that books when I am in need of an advice or facing difficulties. Every single day I read your other book "Deep Breath of Life". Both of these books thought me, what the Quran couldn't teach me, I need to ask you this question, Sir. DO you think when we need to grow spiritually, we as humans need to classified as what religious or cultural believes to identify our spirituality? One more, I really wish you could Translate your books in Arabic, or many other languages which most Muslim Nations speak, and open your retreat with an invitation to Muslim leader in many Mosques in USA, It is time which All human raise be in the same spiritual path for the love of our universe. Don't you think so Love Ahmed P.S.: I love your work please keep it coming.
 

Hi Ahmed,

Thank you for your inspiring sharing. I find it very rewarding to know that my writing has touched you within the Islamic religion. Truly God is at the heart of all spirituality and religion.

I believe that at the deepest level we are purely spiritual beings who live beyond any definitions, including religion. Some people find their way to God through a religious path, and others purely through a spiritual path. Each of us must look into our own heart and discover and live the truth that matches us. God asks no more of us than to be true to ourselves. God sees us not with labels, yet honors the tools that help us to remember truth.

I trust the universal law of attraction to connect me and my writing and seminars with those whom the message matches and who can most benefit by it. I would certainly welcome any spiritual leader, Muslim or otherwise, who feels drawn to apply these teaching to their own ministry.

Peace be with you and with us all.
 

Are my Dreams Real?

I'm actually uncomfortable asking you a question but here it goes... I am at a place where I am aware that the money, job, material stuff won't bring me what it is I'm looking for. and I've learned this through experience. so the areas I have experience with I can call myself out on; example, I used to think once I'm skinny all will be great with me. I got skinny, guess what, I was still me. however, there are other areas that I haven't "called myself out" on so I still believe that those are "real". its as if I don't know which dreams are "real" and what are illusions. does that make sense? I guess I don't know what it means to have "dreams". blah blah. this is hard for me to explain.

Hi Kirsten, Your question make perfect sense!

You have come to the blessed place of "divine disillusionment" where you realize that making external changes or getting the things you want in the outer world, don't really fulfill you.

But consider that "disillusion" means "the end of an illusion" - and at the end of every illusion there is a truth. So rejoice.

You are actually in a very good position. You are shifting your focus from stuff to Spirit, and what empowerment there is in this awareness!

To answer your question more specifically, it is good and delightful and important to have dreams and to pursue them. Expansion and "surfing on the cutting edge" are powerful elements of a fulfilling life. So follow your dreams, but as you do, keep Spirit first. Ask God, or the universe, to inspire and guide your dreams to be in harmony with your deepest happiness and that of the people you touch. Then, as you go, keep asking Spirit for direction, fine tunes, and the answers to the questions that arise along the way. Hold the material aspects of your quest lightly, and keep dear the integrity, love, and values that fill you from the inside out. Then you walk a conscious path that will yield only good and blessings. What could be more real than the joy of knowing you lived in harmony with yourself?
 

How Can a Needy Person Change?

Hi Alan, Can a person who is "needy" actually change? If so how do you do that? Linda
 

Hi Linda, You transform "neediness" by recognizing your worth and beauty just as you are, right where you are. Whatever you believe is outside you that can fill you in or save you, is already given you from the inside out. You are whole.

When you start to do something out of neediness, just ask yourself what you would be doing differently if you knew you were whole already. Simply asking that question and being honest about the answer will point you in a new direction.

The one you seek is yourself.

For more ideas and practices, read chapter one of "Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It" There are many angles on taking back your power.
 

How to Stay on the Path?

 I first learned of you through an early morning radio show I listen to. It is hosted by Dave Wingert and he has you and excerpts from your works as a staple of his show. I think what really has drawn me to write you is the fact that I have always been a big fan of Wayne Dyer and you seem to support many of the principals he does. The exciting part to me is that you have given me the opportunity to contact you. Of course you must receive thousands of e-mails and the chances of you actually reading this one is probably remote at best, but at least there is a chance that you will see it. I want to be mentally and spiritually in the place you seem to be in. No matter how hard I try, I can only hold on for a short while until I am sucked back into the black hole of life that far too many of us travel in. I seem to be at my best when I offer advice or consolation to others but lack the ability to apply my own advice to my life all the time. Did you ever find yourself in a similar situation? If you did, what did you do to put yourself on the right path? Thank you for giving me the opportunity to contact you. I hope to hear from you.
 

Hi Frank,

Your sincere letter was very endearing. I feel your sense of purpose and your desire to live in full integrity.

You may be doing better than you think you are. When you reach for any next higher goal, you become acutely aware of everything that matches it, and everything that doesn't match it. When you experience being "sucked in" to old patterns, it means that you are in the process of moving beyond them. Just as you developed the old pattern, you can develop a new pattern. The more you focus on the successes and good feelings of stepping into your new life, the more your new life will become real.

Yes, I have had the experience you describe. The key is to reframe your situation so you see yourself in the process of moving ahead. Celebrate every new step or success, even if it feels little. Give as little attention to the old pattern as possible. Part of you - actually the real you - is already standing at the top of the mountain you perceive yourself to be climbing. Identify with that person rather than the one who seems to be struggling.

Focus on the service and inspiration you are giving others. If you can give it, you must have it. Your sincerity of intention and your willingness to keep going will help you faster and more powerfully than you expect.
 

I Need Inspiration

Dear Alan Nice to meet you. I'm michiko tochitani. I'm sending letter from Japan. I really enjoyed your speech 'm always listening your tape. Yes, EVERYDAY!, to encourage myself to keep to believe my inspiration. Because I' losing my way and started to believe my destiny. I am a dentist. After getting violence from cruel boss, I cannot enjoy my job. I tried to kill myself. I lost menstruation for 6 years. I tried to do my best, but I couldn't do well. Suddenly my boss fired. I was good for me to think my destiny. Still now I am focus on listening my inspiration. I met many mentors like aromatherapist and motivator. But they don't keep promises. Then I found I had to believe my self. But I still want to count on and believe them. They are a sweet talker, I know. Please give me inspirational words. My dream is to become a parson like Helen Keller and Mother Teresa who gave lot's inspiration to peoples .I will find the way and live my dream. Thank you for giving me a time and reading my letter. I'm looking forward to getting your mail.
 

Dear Michiko,

How nice to hear from you! Thank you for your sincere letter.

You raise an interesting point. How do we keep faith when other people disappoint us? The answer is simple, but it takes practice:

Remember that your real relationship is with God, more than other individual people. Even if individuals are unkind or do not keep their agreements, there is a bigger picture to your life. They are the avenue for your good, but not your source. Your source is God.

Often when someone lets you down or leaves your life, the universe is pointing you in a new direction. "Rejection is protection." So when a disappointment comes, ask yourself what new step you are being motivated to take. You will find there is a reason for everything.

I think it is beautiful that you want to be like Mother Teresa or Helen Keller. Certainly they had their disappointments, but they kept turning to God, or the spirit within them for comfort and confidence. Believe in the spirit within you, and the spirit within others, and you will find your life positive, powerful, successful, and happy. 

Is there a Church of Spirituality?

First let me say thank you. It's too early to say if you changed my life but you have had a profound impact on this month! My question relates to how to describe or label your set of beliefs. People ask me "What religion are you?" - I don't know how to answer as I'm not sure there is a category. Is there a "Church of Spirituality"? Does that seem an appropriate label? Thank you for your writing. It is truly inspirational.
 

Great question. And if I have inspired you even for one month - even a moment - that is a great blessing to us both. Thanks for communicating.